[PDF / Epub] ☄ Where'd You Go, Bernadette By Maria Semple – Rvtrek.info

Where'd You Go, Bernadette Bernadette Fox Has VanishedWhen Her Daughter Bee Claims A Family Trip To Antarctica As A Reward For Perfect Grades, Bernadette, A Fiercely Intelligent Shut In, Throws Herself Into Preparations For The Trip But Worn Down By Years Of Trying To Live The Seattle Life She Never Wanted, Ms Fox Is On The Brink Of A Meltdown And After A School Fundraiser Goes Disastrously Awry At Her Hands, She Disappears, Leaving Her Family To Pick Up The Pieces Which Is Exactly What Bee Does, Weaving Together An Elaborate Web Of Emails, Invoices, And School Memos That Reveals A Secret Past Bernadette Has Been Hiding For Decades Where D You Go Bernadette Is An Ingenious And Unabashedly Entertaining Novel About A Family Coming To Terms With Who They Are And The Power Of A Daughter S Love For Her Mother PRO Made me think about all the time I ve spent in SeattleCON Made me think about all the time I ve spent in Seattle Just found this book in my luggage recently, I read it while traveling a while back, and never got around to recording it here This happens a lot I m hesitant to assign a star rating herehesitant than usual Not only did I read this months ago, but the genre isn t one that I spend a lot of time reading.But where do I rank it I know it didn t anger or disappoint me in any way I d remember that but neither did I feel the need to rush on here and review it, or force it on any of my Just found this book in my luggage recently, I read it while traveling a while back, and never got around to recording it here This happens a lot I m hesitant to assign a star rating herehesitant than usual Not only did I read this months ago, but the genre isn t one that I spend a lot of time reading.But where do I rank it I know it didn t anger or disappoint me in any way I d remember that but neither did I feel the need to rush on here and review it, or force it on any of my friends I know a book is genuinely good if I feel the need to share it I did enjoy it, and that s saying something, given that it s outside my regular reading habits and I don t think I m the target audience for the book It s solidly written, clever and witty in turns, slightly absurdist in its humor, and comes to good resolution.So four stars Sure Whatever Let s call it four Whatever that means.If you re the sort of person who only reads fantasy as I know some of my readers are be aware this doesn t have any of that in there Also, female main character here So if you re one of those dudes who is terrified of catching cooties from a book, look out There s feelings and shit in this book, and a girl looking for her mother Personally, I liked it If the thought of that makes your nuts retreat protectively up into your body, you might want to think of this as less than four stars And possibly consider getting some therapy to work out your unresolved issues If you re someone who enjoyspersonal narratives YA stuff Or what s typically considered Chick Lit Though I hate that term odds are you ll like thisthan four stars worth Parenthetically yours, pat What we have here is a satirical epistolary novel about a bunch of whiny one percenters in Seattle Ms Semple is sending up Seattle elites, which here seem to be typified by Bernadette s husband Elgie, a granola eating, public transport using, bike riding, Microsoft employee with a genius IQ She also sets her sights on the students and parents of a Montessori style preparatory school I don t feel a particular need to explain what happens, because it s pretty well traveled stuff Where BERNADE What we have here is a satirical epistolary novel about a bunch of whiny one percenters in Seattle Ms Semple is sending up Seattle elites, which here seem to be typified by Bernadette s husband Elgie, a granola eating, public transport using, bike riding, Microsoft employee with a genius IQ She also sets her sights on the students and parents of a Montessori style preparatory school I don t feel a particular need to explain what happens, because it s pretty well traveled stuff Where BERNADETTE sets itself apart is the storytelling style The story here takes the form of a packet of documents that Bernadette s daughter has prepared after Bernadette disappears These include emails between Elgie s assistant and a disgruntled neighbor, emails between Bernadette and her Indian assistant Manjula, police reports, magazine articles, etc These documents have a kind of zingy, lighthearted, ironic quality about them, and it makes for an energetic and enjoyable story Narration between the documents is provided in brief snippets by Bernadette s precocious daughter Bee Alas, there are many problems, and the book never lives up to its promise Semple is trying to have it both ways Bernadette, for example is a ruthlessly satirized Type A East Coast transplant We re supposed to find her ridiculous, but we re also expected to fall for her Semple wants us to believe she s a genius because she won a MacArthur genius grant, even though there s very little else in the way of supporting evidence She wants us to find Bernadette mysterious and admirable But I was never really drawn in by Bernadette s positive qualities, or able to find them at all This wouldn t have been a problem for me if it wasn t so clear that I was supposed to like her Also, the title and jacket copy of this book seem to promise that it s about the mysterious disappearance of, and search for, Bernadette The problem is that Bernadette never really disappears She leaves briefly, but her reasons for leaving are pretty clear, and it s not hard to guess where she went the setting of Antarctica, promised by the icy mountains on the cover and tons and tons of buildup throughout, might provide a clue But the book suffers the most when the narration switches to Bee full time after the disappearance This switch is somewhat painstakingly explained, but it felt lazy to me There had to be a way to keep the form that had been so successful for the first two thirds of the book for the final act It felt like Semple was trying to write a book that was zany, unique, and inventive, but also perfectly conventional, with all the benefits of both storytelling styles In my mind, this book depended on the inventiveness of its epistolary style, and abandoning it was disaster All in all, worth reading This is the kind of book that very well could have left me shaking my head and wondering how the author pulled it off, if only she had pulled it off Ah, well I received this in ARC form from the Nervous Breakdown book club, and I hope they dress it up a bit for the hardcover I think it would be better if the documents appeared in different forms and fonts, if Elgie s handwritten letter appeared handwritten, etc I can t close this review without saying that this book s cover is unfortunate While I did have issues here, this book represents a serious effort, and it deserved a serious cover It will be interesting to see what Maria Semple does next This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here For the first time ever, I m going with the Goodreads appointed rating system This book was simply OK , therefore I am giving it 2 stars I didn t hate it or anything, but it really didn t do anything for me.I didn t find it funny or all that quirky to be quite honest , and the characters were all a bit bland I was also disappointed that what I had originally thought was the whole point of the book Bernadette disappearing right before a trip to Antarctica didn t even happen until way later For the first time ever, I m going with the Goodreads appointed rating system This book was simply OK , therefore I am giving it 2 stars I didn t hate it or anything, but it really didn t do anything for me.I didn t find it funny or all that quirky to be quite honest , and the characters were all a bit bland I was also disappointed that what I had originally thought was the whole point of the book Bernadette disappearing right before a trip to Antarctica didn t even happen until way later in the story I found the lead up to Bernadette s disappearance to be quite dull, and I only became vaguely interested when it finally happened.I don t have very strong emotions towards this book, which leads me to believe it just wasn t for me 2.75 5 Full review on my Blog The Dacian She Wolf Quick funny story after I read how Bernadette had disappeared, my immediate Romanian reaction wasA disp rut ca m garul n ceawhich literally means She disappeared like the donkey in the fog Yeah dubious Romanian piece of wisdom ahem.Now This is not exactly my type of book, I am not ashamed to admit that I found it boring in some placesthan in others and I will not apologise for saying that the writing style was kind of 2.75 5 Full review on my Blog The Dacian She Wolf Quick funny story after I read how Bernadette had disappeared, my immediate Romanian reaction wasA disp rut ca m garul n ceawhich literally means She disappeared like the donkey in the fog Yeah dubious Romanian piece of wisdom ahem.Now This is not exactly my type of book, I am not ashamed to admit that I found it boring in some placesthan in others and I will not apologise for saying that the writing style was kind of annoying meBut it wasn t a horrible book, people As short as it might seem a little over 300 pages , it took me a load of days to finish it The idea of the novel is a clever one, but the writing style it was framed in was a bit off because it drew the attention from the actual serious themes that were being put in the scene Drug addiction, mental health issues, depression and anxiety mostly, family issues, feminism and so many others were exposed in this novel, but they weren t quite as obvious as they should ve been, because switching between the emails and letters and the other types of correspondence is, indeed, an innovation of style, but it is also I bit attention tiring Even though I might sound like I disliked this book so muchand now, why did you read it if you don t have nice things to say about it anyway, I actually didn t dislike it And I am telling you why I kept reading it until the end Bernadette.I had some parts in the book where I was 90% sure that Bernadette is me as a mum the other 10% stand for the fact that Bernadette is me irl in my good days lol Like I could really relate to her Her personality is so interestingly beautiful that I could not stop thinking about how cool she is and I would actually love to be mistaken and find out that a real life Bernadette Fox exists out there for me to meet with her Also, another lovable character was Bee Branch, the daughter of Bernadette, who is a perfect grade child, who actually enjoys school and is into some kind of weird holiday preferences, like going to an Antarctica trip for Christmas Kind of unexpected But she s actually my type of child, because, you know what, I might be into some weird arse holiday preferences myself, you know, me and my inner child I wonder how would my parents react if I would ve had perfect grades through all of my school years just to make them take me to my dream holiday, an African safari Probably unimpressed, but meh The mother daughter relationship between the two of them is just so nice and comfy I love the fact that they are warm with each other, understand each other and protect each other It is a wonderful feeling and I, personally, find it evenwonderful because it kind of reminds me of my relationship with my mummy, whom, I must say, I absolutely adoreIn rest, all those characters look somehow fake and a tad improbable Like Elgin, for instance Why is Elgin Branch so obsessed with the idea that his wife is a loony who must be, by all means, locked away in a loony bin She is a genius, mate, geniuses are legitimate loonies, you don t question that, you don t fix that, you just have to deal with it Another unreal character is Soo Lin and, attached to that, her twisted relationship with her boss, Elgin Branch yes, mate, you are everywhere I totally understand that she is a divorcee with two children, but the idea of admiring your boss and his geniality so much that you fall in love with him and start manipulating him in some way is a bit too much for me She s actually not in love with him, but only with the idea of him, of what he does at that big company and the idea of the power that he has.Until the end, things just seem to be as messy as they became after Bernadette disappeared, but then things start to get explained The fakest gnat of them all, Audrey Griffin, turns out to be actually the key of both Bernadette s escape and also her return Indeed, people can change and throughout this book, Audrey did change More than any other character In my eyes, she actually gained some depth, some feeling, some empathy And this makes me happy 3D personality people are enjoyable people, who please my integrity thoughts.All in all, not to worry about, everything locks solidly in a happy ending, hurray for happy endings Somehow, the ending made me have another glimpse over the whole book, making me re think some thoughts that I had at the beginning AND NOW, let s see what response would the film to the book Well, let this be a lesson to those who would open their mouths and spew venom into the world I once wrote very publicly and loudly on this here Goodreads that I could never love a satire don t even remember which book I was reviewing The point is, this book has made me eat my words This fucking book, man I loved it It s my cheese, my oreo cookie, my soft blanket on a cold winter s night, my let s pack everything up and head out for an adventure because FUCK YEAH WE RE ALIVE I m so gla Well, let this be a lesson to those who would open their mouths and spew venom into the world I once wrote very publicly and loudly on this here Goodreads that I could never love a satire don t even remember which book I was reviewing The point is, this book has made me eat my words This fucking book, man I loved it It s my cheese, my oreo cookie, my soft blanket on a cold winter s night, my let s pack everything up and head out for an adventure because FUCK YEAH WE RE ALIVE I m so glad I randomly picked this book up at my library Like, last second, I was checking out and there it was, and I just grabbed it Best last minute decision ever Found it And oh, of course it was a Waugh Where d You Go, Bernadette is a modern day epistolary novel, but not like one of those ones you read as a teenager with like whiny emails and diary entries from lovelorn pimple faces, it s like layers and layers of subtle genius Bee is fifteen and loves her mother, her eccentric and troubled mother, who one day disappears The book is a meta compilation supposedly put together by Bee of emails, articles, and other assorted correspondences that tell the story of Bernadette what made her who she is, and what led up to her disappearance The first 75% of the book is just a delightful satire, on the wealthy and privileged, on the self deluded and spiritually empty but what really makes it are the bits of real emotion that are constantly peeking through This story genuinely made me feel things, and like I mean that it in all caps, FEEL THINGS Plus, it s just wacky Maria Semple used to work on Arrested Development, if that gives you some idea of what I mean by wacky Now, just to warn you, I m writing this all high off the ending which was just fucking lovely , so I might be a bit biased, and you might end up reading it and being like, Ashley, what the fuck Just keep that in mind But to put it in frame of reference, I liked this book almost as much as I liked Ready Player One and I fucking love Ready Player One , but it s a different kind of love I don t want to say any because I just want you to go read the book I mean it GO Simply put READ THIS, or you WILL have a supremely LAME life This I solemnly swearYup, this is a total classic a brilliant novel that the critics have hailed as impossibly LOL fuhu nnny But I simply must add on to this and this is why this has been the best novel I ve read since The Art of Fielding truth is, it will make you cry Bawl like a baby cry over the disappearance of this unique individual Finding her is the main objective in this crazy mixed media project Where d You Simply put READ THIS, or you WILL have a supremely LAME life This I solemnly swearYup, this is a total classic a brilliant novel that the critics have hailed as impossibly LOL fuhu nnny But I simply must add on to this and this is why this has been the best novel I ve read since The Art of Fielding truth is, it will make you cry Bawl like a baby cry over the disappearance of this unique individual Finding her is the main objective in this crazy mixed media project Where d You Go, Bernadette is what astute book worms crave ABSOLUTE MUST READREADREADREADREADREAD I will never stop recommending Bernadette It is one of the best novels of the 21 st century Looking for a new book but don t want to commit Check out my latest BooktTube Video One Done all about fabulous standalones Now that you know this one made the list check out the video to see the rest The Written Review People like you must create If you don t create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society Oh My Gawd I love this so much Bee Branch, genius daughter of the infamously famous Bernadette Fox, has a puzzle to solve where in Looking for a new book but don t want to commit Check out my latest BooktTube Video One Done all about fabulous standalones Now that you know this one made the list check out the video to see the rest The Written Review People like you must create If you don t create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society Oh My Gawd I love this so much Bee Branch, genius daughter of the infamously famous Bernadette Fox, has a puzzle to solve where in the world is her motherBefore her mother went missing, Bee s parents made the dubious promise of buying her whatever she wanted IF she got perfect gradeswhich she did and she cashed that in for a trip to Antarctica And with the help of an online Indian personal assistant, Bernadette begins planningand planningand planningand quickly realizes that perhaps, it may have been a bit of a mistake to make such a rash promise One of the main reasons I don t like leaving the house is because I might find myself face to face with a Canadian Meanwhile the pressures mount from all sides until suddenly poof Bernadette disappears.It s up to Bee to find her and she is not about to back down Hello, can I help you with something If not, please step aside because I m about to kick the shit out of life In short abso freaking lutely hilarious I was laughing to myself almost every chapter Semple combined just the right amount of hilarity and heartwarming hi jinks.Bernadette has such an amazing take on life she was sassy and witty every single moment she was on the pageThat s right, she told the girls You are bored And I m going to let you in on a little secret about life You think it s boring now Well, it only getsboring The sooner you learn it s on you to make life interesting, the better off you ll beMy favorite part The ongoing battle with Audrey the snooty next door neighbor The petty squabbling and the exponentially increasing responses made my jaw drop especially when the kindergartners got PTSD from billboard incident This is one that needs to be read to be fully appreciated I am absolutely in love The Finer Books Club 2018 Reading Challenge A book you see a stranger reading in publicYouTube Blog Instagram Twitter Snapchat miranda.reads Happy Reading There is a new genre of contemporary fiction in which believability is thrown out the window in favor of wacky plot machinations, but which is not satire because the emotions of the characters are too real See also, This Is Where I Leave You When her daughter was born with a heart condition which gave her skin a blueish hue, Bernadette Fox named her daughter, Balakrishna Branch, because the Indian God, Krishna, is blue and the name means child Krishna Wacky, huh In case you were wond There is a new genre of contemporary fiction in which believability is thrown out the window in favor of wacky plot machinations, but which is not satire because the emotions of the characters are too real See also, This Is Where I Leave You When her daughter was born with a heart condition which gave her skin a blueish hue, Bernadette Fox named her daughter, Balakrishna Branch, because the Indian God, Krishna, is blue and the name means child Krishna Wacky, huh In case you were wondering, Bernadette is not Indian, and she isn t even Hindu Bernadette calls all of the other mothers at her daughter s school gnats because they are bothersome to her always wanting her to particpate in classroom activities Wacky, huh Bernadette spends her grant money buying a girls reform school in Seattle to renovate as their home and which is in such disrepair that weeds grow up through the floorboards so she has to hire a gardener to weed whack the dining room Wacky, huh Oh, and did I mention that she is a genius MacArthur grant and all Bernadette s husband is also wacky He doesn t wear shoes when he works He asks to be removed from his daughter s school email list because he doesnt have time to read all that nonsense He wears headphones so people don t bother him on the Microsoft bus Oh, and he is a genius too with the Number 4 most popular TED talk Semple puts these wacky folks into all sorts of wacky situations a mud slide during the progressive school s prospective kindergarten parents brunch, a police raid at the Westin hotel, a quest to obtain illegal psychotic medication to avoid seasickness, an FBI sting operation, an escape across the Antarctic Sea in Zodiac boats There is so much wackiness that it becomes exhausting.The problem is that Bernadette s daughter, Bee, is a totally believable character A fifteen year old girl who has overcome her health issues, and loves to learn, and loves her wacky parents despite it all, so as a reader, on Bee s behalf, I became outraged when Semple has these parents behave in ways which injure Bee, again and again, through their self centeredness, their childishness, and their neglect I don t understand how Semple wants me, the reader, to react, and that is a problem.Semple writes well she is clever and has a nice turn of phrase, and I enjoyed parts of this book tremendously, but as a whole, it did not hold together for me at all.As a final insult, this book ends so suddenly, it gave me whiplash I was listening to it on CD and I pulled the car over to make sure that somehow I had not lost a disk, despite the fact that the narrator was intoning, Thank you for listening to I could not believe it I could not believe that the book was over I have no idea what happened to these characters or how the plot was resolved I was shocked


About the Author: Maria Semple

Maria Semple s first novel, This One is Mine, was set in Los Angeles, where she also wrote for television shows including Arrested Development, Mad About You, and Ellen Semple was born in Santa Monica, California Her family moved to Spain soon after she was born There her father, the screenwriter Lorenzo Semple, Jr., wrote the pilot for the television series Batman The family moved to Los Angeles and then to Aspen, Colorado Semple attended boarding school at Choate Rosemary Hall, then received a BA in English from Barnard College in 1986.


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